I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
