I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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