Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
