return my video game
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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