That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
