Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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