We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
