Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
