How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
