My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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