Im at strip club and am horny
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
