Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
