those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
