9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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