If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
