does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
