I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
