Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
