So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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