Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
