So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize