New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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