last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
