Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
