I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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