But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
