Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
