So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
