would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize