I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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