pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
