Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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