when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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