Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
