I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
