Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
