sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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