So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize