I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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