He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
