okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
