Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
