If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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