can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I would fuck him just for his dog
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
