i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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