he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
