I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
