Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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