Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
