i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
