Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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