dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i drank out of a bidet.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
