dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
