entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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