member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
