Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
