she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
