No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
