Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
