from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
