he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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