You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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