I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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