the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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