I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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